You can easily see the pain within my eyes
With every passing moment, another part of me dies
No longer can I look up toward the drifting skies
Without thinking of the thirst that resides with me
To never be the one who would have to see
The destruction of every life I tried to love
The tide of the dying oceans slowly comes to a halt
Through the light I’ll find your deteriorating exalt
Overcome with my grief, knowing that this is all my fault
I’ll always be lost within the suffocating darkness
All the things I’ve ever said or done are now meaningless
Because the wings of night are descending upon my life
I’ll never find the singular light that would dare cover me
Give me a sense of hope because I know I’ll never be free
The chains that keep me are the only thing I can see
I’ve lost all my faith within the higher grace
I’d give anything just to see your smiling face
Though I’ll just fall upon my knees, my heart is still bleeding
Every moment I try to grasp upon light is fruitless
Any energy I expend on creating hope is useless
Why does the struggle to live have to be so hopeless
Never did I try to wrong the ones I care for the most
I always knew how much any betrayal would cost
But still I find myself stumbling to find equal footing
As if every time I find something to believe in
It turns out that it was all another monetary sin
The darkness has become my twisted twin
Light is just another distant memory within my mind
But still, the loving darkness has been ever so kind
In my time of dying, I will no longer bleed the light
The darkness will become the vessel in which I am found
I will not create another fragment of myself for you to astound
Very soon the light within me will be buried within the ground
Whilst the darkness creeps around this world, not making a single sound
The radiant light that this world desires so much has finally drowned
While the darkness lives on like an infectious wound
Oy Vey I forgot to post this >.<
I’ve tried hiding from it for so long
But it always has a way of finding me
The silent killer that no one can see
Always sinks its claws into me
Within a shadow its seeds are planted
So much as a look and you can be infected
I’ve never seen a time where I wasn’t affected
Yet, its existence has always been accepted
The clear darkness it creates always hides the truth
Once within you it shall never depart
With perfect precision it can shatter a heart
And tear the best of friends apart
Its goals have always been unclear
The pain it causes is enough to desire death
Yet it can never physically steal your breath
Or easily reveal the truth that lies beneath
Yet, if the light it creates can never be seen
Then why does control our lives so easily
Often showing us our desire so quickly
Just to hide it from us so hatefully
Without it, men would be nothing but dust
And women would find joy as untrue
Most of us despise it, but that’s nothing new
Yet most of us can never see it through
It breeds hatred and jealousy
While giving birth to the greatest joy
Through the connection of a girl and a boy
It creates a bond no one can ever destroy
Whilst it controls our beating heart
And sabotages the entire mind
But if you look you will find
Without it, nothing is so kind
Our world deprived of it is nothing
It is truly a present from above
It is the only thing we can never let go of
Because in truth, the only thing we need, is love.
TODAY IS A GREAT DAY!
FOR I HAVE DISCOVERED ISRAELI METAL!!!
Ever since we met I have always wondered
What can I do for you to like me more?
What can I do for you to love me?
I always used to entertain myself with these thoughts
What if I become as clear as water?
You could always see me,
But…no,
I’d just slip through your fingers like sand
And wouldn’t be able to be hugged by you
What if I became as powerful as lightning?
Then I could always protect you from harm
Nothing could ever hurt you…
But you’d be afraid of me
And then you’d run away from me
So I could never be by your side anymore
What if flames were as hot as my passion for you?
I would always shield your from the cold…
But still, no…
I’d get excited around you
And hurt you with my flames
What if I become as dark as a shadow?
If I always hid in the moonlight
I’d always protect you from the darkness
But then you’d forget about me…
So what about if I became as bright as the sun?
I’d always light the way for you
We’d never be lost…
But then I’d stand out…and you wouldn’t…
What if I became as sharp as ice?
You could always hug me
But…
I’d probably melt from the warmth in your heart
What if I became someone else?
Would you love me then?
If I never made all those mistakes.
But…you’d never give me another chance..
If I gave up
What would you think?
Would you actually care?
Or would you just laugh at me
And turn your back like all the others
Would I ever have to be someone I’m not
Just for you to love me..
Would you ever be mine? Or will I be stuck writing poems for the rest of my life..about how much…I want you..
Winter (I Like You) The kisses of winter fall down to the Earth like stars Their perfection slowly floating down onto her hair For the first time my eyes have been opened Through the powdered kisses sent from the sky The shining beacon that she is A difference in a world of fakes and copies The only true beauty found under the stars Yet, I knew I would never have a chance with an angel She was always flying amongst the stars Along with the other angels she befriended While I was stuck in this hell I call Earth Watching her majestic figure fly above me1 The gentle snow falling upon my face As she dictates its movement like a maestro Smiling down upon me as I watch in awe I never thought I could admit it After all the pain I had once felt The red maestro in my core Had found someone worth orchestrating Someone that I would willingly give everything I hold dear This is what I have lived my entire life for Just to watch the snow slowly fall upon me As I gaze into the empty space where she stood I already miss the very sight of her If I could choose the only girl I want to be with forever If I could create a special girl out of thin air A girl worth living for She couldn’t even hold a candle to her Spring (I Want You) The leaves slowly dance around you Floating like balloons; higher and higher Until they slowly fall down upon your head Creating a crown that matches your beauty The clouds slowly float along the sky like birds Their lazy attitude gently reflecting the spring Slowly their forms begin to change into what I desire most Small features begin to appear within their puffy exterior Your face slowly begins to form within the sky Like colors quickly being thrown onto a painting The trees themselves stare in awe at your beauty The entire sky has become your canvas The entire world around me is staring at the sky As you gently add tiny marshmallows to the emptiness My mind races as you finally leave the sky Landing right in front of me, a smile on your face My breath ran from me instantly Your otherworldly eyes caught me off guard I was staring into another world In your eyes I saw the gentle waves of the ocean The untold trust shared between two converging hearts The trust that requires not a single word to be said Our eyes meeting was enough for me to know Without you, I have no hope of being complete The sky itself was watching me as I closed my eyes I kept telling myself that I was not powerful enough To ask you what I had been wanting for so long As my eyes closed, a hushed whisper in my mind screamed out The un-thinkable, the only thing I’ve wanted all my life Four words that would define my entire world Four words that would change both of our lives forever Would You Be Mine? Summer (I Love You) Waves crash upon the shore like children playing Their brilliant colors shine as bright as the sun As I look into your glowing eyes, filled with glee I can only smile, for I finally found the meaning of true love Nothing in this world can surpass how much I love you If I could tell you every reason why I adore you I would run out of life within my body before I finish It never was the same after you held my hand Every time I see your glowing smile My body feels as cold as the winter day we met With you, I can never feel any kind of fear The tiny voice in the back of my mind Telling me that I would never find true love Died as quickly as any ambition I had to leave you Any clouded thought I had that you could never love me Fell to the ground, joining the other fallen thoughts I once had All it took for me to allow you to sow your love within me Was a little bit of faith and an incredible amount of ambition All the curses that my broken heart had sown within me Died out along with the fragments of the knife in my heart The fragments of my once broken heart joined together Like pieces of a puzzle finally coming together To create a masterpiece among masterpieces A beautiful creation truly created out of true love The tears begin to fall from heaven To signal that we have created something special The waves begin to dance around us as I stare into your eyes Their glowing beauty gently reflecting off the waves A thousand stars appear in the night sky Hoping to replicate the beauty that you emit Praying that one day their light can shine as bright as yours As we look toward the stars, time slows around us The light behind your eyes shine into mine My fingers gentle run through your hair Playing with the ocean waves running along it Tracing the miracles that you have achieved for me When you aren’t by my side I already miss everything about you The thought of being away from you kills me If I could only tell you one thing for the rest of our lives I’d tell you how: I’m incomplete without you I’m nothing without you I’d tell you how I need you But most importantly I would tell you I Love You. Autumn (I Miss You) Seasons come and go; but my eyes never have met yours Every time I see you walking my mind asks why Why do I always chain myself to the familiar? While the world seems to venture into the unknown The autumn winds carry your name to my ears A whirlwind of leaves carve your name within my voice With every daunting step I take toward you My legs begin to feel as if the world is pushing me down Briefly I see the outline of her figure The embodiment of autumn forms within her Crisp leaves color her endless hair While the wind gently closes her gray eyes A throng surrounds her like a glass case Trying to hold in the beauty she gives off Praying for a suitable container to seal it in Slowly the wind begins to pick up as she smiles Her eyes slowly begin to fixate upon mine The wind begins to flow around us Like an orchestra slowly playing a symphony The leaves slowly clapping as I walk toward her My eyes fixed directly into her warm eyes Her eyes seemed to beckon for me to come closer The air around her took my breath away Releasing it into the whirlwind around us My feet gently moved in front of me While my heart stayed on the outside Only able to look into the tornado As I hold my hand out to her Staring at what I had done left me in awe My eyes died from fear as they shut But around me the wind was dying down As I felt a warmer presence holding me As my eyes open to a new world My eyes quickly dart to my hand My mind was racing so quickly But quickly put to rest, for what I saw defined my life Her hand gently resting within mine
4 new poems:
Winter (I Like You)
Spring (I Want You)
Summer (I Love You)
Autumn (I Miss You)
Seasons come and go; but my eyes never have met yours
Every time I see you walking my mind asks why
Why do I always chain myself to the familiar?
While the world seems to venture into the unknown
The autumn winds carry your name to my ears
A whirlwind of leaves carve your name within my voice
With every daunting step I take toward you
My legs begin to feel as if the world is pushing me down
Briefly I see the outline of her figure
The embodiment of autumn forms within her
Crisp leaves color her endless hair
While the wind gently closes her gray eyes
A throng surrounds her like a glass case
Trying to hold in the beauty she gives off
Praying for a suitable container to seal it in
Slowly the wind begins to pick up as she smiles
Her eyes slowly begin to fixate upon mine
The wind begins to flow around us
Like an orchestra slowly playing a symphony
The leaves slowly clapping as I walk toward her
My eyes fixed directly into her warm eyes
Her eyes seemed to beckon for me to come closer
The air around her took my breath away
Releasing it into the whirlwind around us
My feet gently moved in front of me
While my heart was forced to the outside
Only able to look into the tornado
As I hold my hand out to her
Staring at what I had done left me in awe
My eyes died from fear as they shut
But around me the wind was dying down
As I felt a warmer presence holding me
As my eyes open to a new world
My eyes quickly dart to my hand
My mind was racing so quickly
But quickly put to rest, for what I saw defined my life
Her hand gently resting within mine
“I am just another Fallen heart to you, but Honestly, without you I am Incomplete, so this is my final Goodbye.” Fallen You are but another rose in a pool of rain Slowly withering away under the pressure of time Your vibrant leaves slowly withering to nature’s kiss Your blood red hues slowly turning to a deathly brown The sight of you struck my heart like a thunderbolt Such a magnificence slowly dying without any care You weren’t just another rose in my eyes You were special; something about you made me want you I knew I couldn’t watch you die like this Something so beautiful needed to be preserved I took you into my life, into my heart The slow trickles of water sounded like piano notes As I gently plucked you from the water And just stared at you for a moment I couldn’t help but marvel at you Though you may have been dying I was awestruck by what I had saved You had no visible thorns when I first held you No way you could possibly hurt me I had finally found the perfection I was looking for As the days passed by and you grew stronger I noticed a small trickle of blood racing down my finger Instantly my mind ruled out any chance of your involvement Something so beautiful could never hurt a living soul As the days with you grew longer and longer The more I grew obsessed with you I was insanely insane for you Even though you could never even notice me Something so perfectly perfect didn’t need to notice A person so imperfectly imperfect as I You were out there chasing the stars While I took root within the ground, hoping to grow As the weeks passed by the blood begin to flow much more Something had to be wrong; I wouldn’t be in this much pain I knew that you had something to do with this But still, I couldn’t see a single thorn on you It must’ve been an accident You wouldn’t ever hurt me You’re too perfect And I’m just so blind Now I’m sitting here in a puddle of blood Amongst other fallen roses, just like you were But I finally found where your thorns are— They are embedded within my heart. Honestly (Redux) One more time you kill me with your lies You leave me lying on the floor Breathless and consumed with grief I’m not going to listen to you anymore They never told me That love is always a losing battle Except instead of soldiers fighting on ground The battlefield is in my heart Because honestly you’re killing me My heart can’t take this pain anymore I’m sick of hearing you cry When we all have these problems Everything I told me, all the times I said I loved you It never was real; I just didn’t want to watch the tears fall again I didn’t want to be crucified by a thousand nails again It kills me to think that I could have loved you What was wrong with me? When I told you I loved you I must’ve been blinded again By the darkness that you created Now I’m trapped in this endless hole Clawing my way to an unholy freedom Or maybe I’m just imagining things again You have a way of creating illusions You’re heart is a black hole Sinking me into my pit Hoping to stay drowned for eternity Because I can’t take it anymore Don’t tell me I never listen Don’t tell me all these fucking lies I’m not going to take this anymore I’ll take you heart and throw it to the stars Because honestly you’re killing me My mind has had enough of you I’ll break you heart Just to watch you die Every single thing you tell me Just opens up a new scar in my heart I’m not going to listen anymore I can’t take it anymore No more words No more pain It will all just end You’ll finally be out of my life I’ve had enough of you Enough of what you call love I just want to be alone Except, unlike you. I won’t be alone for eternity I’ll find someone who actually cares Someone who doesn’t whine and bitch About every little problem in their life Because you can’t hurt me anymore My heart has controlled me for so long I’ve wasted enough time trying to get to you I don’t care how much the truth hurts you. If I would ever reveal your true nature If I told everyone the ravenous whore you really are I would tell them five simple words That would finally kill you on the inside. I would tell the world I would tell the universe I would tell you I can’t do this anymore. Incomplete There’s always so much I could never tell you Because of the tiny voice in the back of my head It always told me how negatively she would react As if it already knew the future Every step was a step backwards to me I always tripped on words when it came to her Insanity was being stripped down And fed to me in its purest form Obsession was my new best friend Always pointing me to anything That would remind me of her It drove me to the edge of ruin You couldn’t find a better idiot than me My mind always told me to give up Looking back, I wish I had given up sooner Before I left any chance at friendship in shackles I don’t want to begin to say How stupid I was for falling in love with an angel That would just be repeating myself In all reality, she was so perfect in my mind The voice in my head always seemed bipolar Always making me stumble upon my words at will Then letting them flow out so easily through my fingers She never knew that I wrote about her It seemed every step I took toward a relationship Led to five steps back into the nowhere I created If only I had seen what she had lain out in front of me Obviously her interest in me was so deep in hell But I, being the blind fool I am Just kept on pulling on strings that didn’t exist Hoping to find the right combination That would make her love me I’d keep writing foolish words of fallacy If my eyes weren’t opened by the light Maybe it was the world’s way of telling me That I’m a fucking idiot in its eyes I had become the entire world’s laughingstock Without even realizing the extent of it Every whisper I always heard behind my back Was about the obsession I had forged within my mind My little shell slowly begin to reform around me This entire world was my enemy now All the while the little voice was telling me How it was always right and that I have no free will I never found out who she really was Until I formed an incomplete thought Maybe they were all right She wasn’t the one for me Her perfection kept drawing me in though Every time I lied to myself and said I don’t care I was just reinforcing my voice’s ego Until then, I had never been told some things are impossible I always told myself that love is just a word That should have no impact on my life It was second nature to me Any person with common sense could’ve guessed That I was just making up excuses about why I liked her But if I was told the truth, I’d just tell myself they were wrong I couldn’t even formulate a thought without her being in it I felt incomplete every moment I wasn’t near her It took the death of my heart to finally let her go The death of the only part of me that still supported me Now what do I have left? My mind always tells me how stupid I am And I can’t help but agree with its every word If only I had buried the thought of her In the grave instead of my heart Maybe I wouldn’t be so dead Maybe I wouldn’t be incomplete. Goodbye This story can never be unwritten All the words I wrote and spoke will never die As long as someone keeps a memory of what I had done I will never die as long as you remember me Before everyone tells me what I’ve done is wrong Open your eyes to the beautiful light There is no good reason in your minds For why I must close the book for now Is there any hope left for my words? Or will all of you flock to me Telling me I’m wrong That I shouldn’t kill my talent No one can open their heart to me Or at least listen to the pulse of mine It’s slowly dying along with my scribbles Everything I wrote was always so imperfect As if I was willingly creating a stain on this world While everyone mindlessly told me I’m great The truth hurt; I didn’t want to think about it at all The truth that, no matter how much I wrote, I would always be unhappy I could’ve written something that turned everyone’s mind upside down But I would always find some fault within my words A new regret to dream about at night Nobody ever realized it either. The war I was having with myself I don’t want my final words to be something stupidly depressing, like always Truth is, if I could ever carry my memories around with me in physical form My memories of all the support and help you all gave me Would be the only memory worth keeping The truth I finally saw in this world Could not be achieved without the ones who cared And all of those people who always brought me down You never even fazed me for a second I could walk around the world with nothing but a smile But who would want to be happy all the time I’d rather be something that had dimensions Instead of another copy you all urged me to become I love being different Do not try and change me Do not try and change my mind I’m happy knowing you cared The only thing left for me to do Is tell everyone how thankful I am To have amazing friends like you And for that, I’m beyond thankful.
I’m sorry that my differences make us incompatible
I just thought that I had a chance with you
Is it so wrong to try?
Now I’m trapped with a thousand people’s opinions weighing me down
And a thousand people laughing at my every attempt to talk to you
But wait!
It’s fun to add to my problems isn’t it?
You love ignoring me
Or giving me that fake smile
Every time I compliment you
Unlike everyone else I actually mean what I tell you
I don’t laugh behind your back
Or tell everyone the one person you liked
Even though you love ignoring what I have to say
I still want you to know
You’ll always be my friend
I know how stupid I am
I’m nothing to you
You probably see me as filth
But you are as pure as an angel to me
That’s where my downfall is coming from
I can’t let you go.
No matter how hard I try.
Something always pulls me back.
As much as I try to hate you
You’re beautiful to me
The darkest of all the stars in the sky
Yet the brightest one of them all
I can’t help but think that I’m searching for a miracle here
One that of course will never happen
I wish I wasn’t me.
I wish I was someone you cared about
I wish I was someone who never had to search for answers
But instead had them lain in front of them
Someone who can actually believe in miracles
Instead of dreading them
